Confessions Of A Disney Addict

Disney is a huge part of my life. I love nothing more than visiting a Disney park, watching a Disney film or cuddling a Disney plush.

I recently realise that I don’t really talk about Disney a lot on this blog, even though it’s so important to me. It’s probably because there’s so many other amazing Disney bloggers out there who have much more interesting Disney related things to say than I do. However, if we didn’t do something because someone else might be better, then we would probably never get anything done at all. So, here I am, talking about Disney.

When I was trying to thing of what Disney themed post I could write, I remembered reading a few posts about a year ago from other bloggers. They were all sharing their Disney confessions. I figured that I would have a go at doing the same.

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Things On My May To Do List

In my endeavour to be organised each day, week, month and year, I have been writing up plans for each month.

I had drafted Aprils’s plans and goals but I didn’t share them because I was apprehensive of whether or not I would actually complete them. I am the queen of making plans and giving up on them only a few hours later.

Even though I didn’t share my April plans with you all, I did decide to keep them all on a little note on my laptop, just to test myself.

In the end, I had managed to complete a couple of them including Instagram growth and drinking water.

This month, I am throwing caution to the wind and I am sharing my plans with you all. I don’t want to be held back by the fear of not being good enough anymore.

So, here’s my plans for March…

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February 2020 Round-Up

February has come to an end. The second month of the century has been completed. I’m very thankful that it didn’t last as long as January did. I thought that January was never going to end.

February is a funny little month. I always feel like February is the month of change. I’m not sure if there’s a reason that I feel that way, I just do.

I figured that since February has ended, I would share some of the things that I’m ‘currently’ doing.

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Becoming The Best Version Of Myself

After writing my post about my life lessons, I realised that even though I have learnt a few life lessons throughout my life, there’s still more that I can improve on to make myself the best version of me that I can be.

I think it’s time that I start off a journey of becoming the best version of myself. I’m going to start by making lists of traits, habits and general things that I aspire to be. I thought what better place to share these lists than right here on my blog. By putting my thoughts into writing, it will be like taking them out of my very chaotic mind and it might even help to make me feel even more accountable. Hopefully sharing my goals and aspirations with you all will encourage me to do what I need to do to get to the places that I want to be.

Productivity:

  • I want to write more blog posts in advance so that when bloggers block hits, I have something to share with you all.
  • I want to make sure I keep my home, desk area and living spaces clean.
  • I want to stop procrastinating and get things done so I have time to relax when I need to in the evenings.
  • I want to stick to one journal system and actually use the journal to organise my days.
  • I want to start managing my monthly budgets better and start saving money.

Physical Health:

  • I want to lose five stone (70lbs) before my 24th birthday (November 2020).
  • I want to drink more water instead of lemonade and other fizzy drinks.
  • I want to stop eating cake as much.
  • I want to try to follow exercises from YouTube.
  • I want to make sure that I keep on top of my personal hygiene.

Mental health:

  • I want to try looking at situations more positively instead of worrying too much.
  • I want to show more gratitude to the people who are in my life.
  • I want to cut out the toxic people in my life and make friends to replace them.
  • I want to practise forgiveness for others to protect my own sanity.
  • I want to incorporate daily meditation into my life.
  • I want to set boundaries that will protect my own wellbeing.

Hobbies:

  • I want to start practising my drawing skills and painting more.
  • I want to actually learn to play my guitar instead of looking at it just sat in the corner.
  • I want to travel more and experience as many cultures as I can.
  • I want to rekindle my love for reading.
  • I want to start taking more photographs to capture precious life moments.

I’m hoping that now I have shared these goals with you, I’ll be able to keep up with this. It’s definitely going to be a hard journey and nothing will be accomplished overnight but it will be an interesting journey. I will probably focus on a small task per week or even longer so that I can create new habits and keep my thoughts organised.

If you lovely readers are also on a journey of self improvement, what’s on your list of things to improve on?

Life Lessons From 23 Years Of Life

Life is full of experiences, lessons, mistakes and journeys. Sometimes we encounter things that amaze us, other times they destroy us. Since I turned 23 today, I thought that I would tell you some of the lessons that I have learnt through my 23 years of life.

♡ What people think about you is their problem, not yours.
♡ Not everything that you do needs to be considered as productive. Do things for fun.
♡ Inspiration is everywhere.
♡ Your instincts are there for a reason. Trust them.
♡ Love is having someone you want to take care of. Not just someone to take care of you.
♡ You’ll never regret chasing your dreams.
♡ Choose who to forgive and accept back into your life and who you should let go of.
♡ Living your life your way is important.
♡ Failure is the best teacher.
♡ Don’t wait until a new year to start something new.
♡ In loss and failure there’s opportunity for growth.
♡ It’s not your job to change people.
♡ Practising self care habits is more important that you would think.
♡ Believe in your capabilities.
♡ Avoiding impulse buying is hard but it needs to be done.
♡ Love at first sight is bullshit. It’s just sexual attraction, not love.
♡ You need to work hard to achieve your dreams.
♡ Stay humble.
♡ The kind of people that you surround yourself with will change your view on life.
♡ Don’t worry about something that can’t be changed.
♡ Choose your battles wisely.
♡ You won’t always get what you wished for that doesn’t mean you should give up.
♡ If they want to leave, let them.
♡ Take more photographs. You’ll be happy you did one day.
♡ Change can set you free.
♡ Stop trying to explain yourself to people who don’t want to listen.
♡ Kindness is free.
♡ Some people are just passing through to teach you lessons in life.
♡ Make life count and do what makes you happy.

Remember, it is within your power to live the life that you want. The people who are with you can only support you and encourage you as you reach for your goals. So, go and live the life you want.

My Relationship With Make Up

I remember when I when I was around 10 years old. I had a friend who absolutely loved wearing make up. She would practise by putting it all over me and practising different styles.

I admired her a lot. She was majorly skilled and as we grew older, she just became more and more talented. She kept using me as her guinea pig and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I came to a realisation that I was much more beautiful with make up on my face. I felt more me and more confident. I felt like it was a way for me to express myself.

Slowly but surely, I started buying my own make up and testing it out on myself. I would beg my mum for money for make up and head to Body Care with my friend to buy as much eyeshadow and lipgloss as possible. Turns out though, I was completely rubbish at applying it on myself.

I kept asking my friend to help me and she tried but I still couldn’t do it. She taught me all about foundations, different shades, what order to apply everything and different brush styles. To be honest, I was still all confused!

I wasn’t going to give up there though. At the age of around 13, I started watching YouTube videos and tutorials all about make up. I learnt and studied every single day. When I turned 14, I got my first boyfriend who I wanted to look good for. I used that as motivation to keep on learning. I figured, he would only like me if I was pretty and to be pretty, I needed to wear make up.

So, I finally learnt how to apply it. Not well but good enough!

When I turned 16, I got a new boyfriend. He would tell me that he liked my face much more natural. I couldn’t believe it, I had finally learnt how to apply make up and now he wasn’t interested at all.

So, I gave up!

I stopped wearing make up. I have hardly worn it from then up to the age of 22 which I am now. I wear it for special occasions and to take selfies but apart from that, I hardly wear it.

But, if you read one of my latest posts, you’ll know that I’m trying to get my life back together. That includes wearing make up. Yes, I feel better with it on. No, it’s not because I’m ugly. It’s because it’s a way for me to express myself and show who I want to be.

So this is me, saying to you, that I’m going to wear make up again. I’m going to regain my love for it and I’m going to start practising all over again.

Miscarriage

This is a post that I didn’t ever expect to end up writing but here we are. Today I found out that I’ve had a miscarriage and I’m heartbroken.

Let’s go back to the very beginning for a bit though.

Since I was very young, I’ve had super weird periods. My cycle was never regular and I could go a whole year without a period. You probably think that’s amazing because yay, no period but it’s not so great when you’ve always known that you wanted to be a mother.

At around age 14, I spoke to someone with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) And they told me that I had a lot of symptoms of that too. Symptoms included irregular periods, thinning hair but hair growth in other places and weight gain.

I headed to the doctors about getting a diagnoses and eventually, three years later, I was diagnosed with PCOS. The doctors were very difficult about diagnosing me. They didn’t run tests and to be honest, they hardly knew anything about the illness.

Once I had my diagnoses, the only treatment that they could offer me for it was the pill. I took that treatment option and went on about my life.

It helped regulate my periods but then came another problem; I became pregnant. The person who I was with at the time, didn’t want me to become pregnant. He accused me of not taking the pill properly and got rather angry.

He decided that the best thing for me to do was get an abortion. A few days later, I woke up in extreme pain and ended up in an ambulance heading to the hospital. It was an ectopic pregnancy. That sort of terminated itself much to the relief of my boyfriend of the time. I on the other hand, wasn’t so happy.

Fast forward about one or two years, I met Simon (my current partner). This is probably not something that you’d expect me to talk about but we started having unprotected sex very early on in the relationship. I was no longer on the pill but I guessed that I wouldn’t get pregnant again due to not treating my PCOS. I was naive.

After around five years of unprotected sexual intercourse, I seemed to be getting regular periods again. At this point I knew that I was ready for a baby. Simon wasn’t 100% sure as he was waiting for the perfect time. I think he knew though that there would never be a perfect time.

Around six weeks ago, I became pregnant.

We only decided to do a test as I was spotting and getting weird cramps but we didn’t do the test until I was 5 weeks pregnant.

Simon rushed me to the hospital as soon as we found out due to the pain I was getting. They confirmed how many weeks pregnant I was and they booked me in for an ultrasound the next day.

The ultrasound confirmed that there was a pregnancy sack and that I was five weeks pregnant. They decided to book me in for a follow up ultrasound for the following week so we could see the baby’s heartbeat.

I left on a high. I couldn’t have been more excited if I tried. Simon was nervous as heck but I was too busy being hyped to be nervous at all.

After the week had been and gone, we headed back to hospital. Over the week, I had had a lot of heavy bleeding and pain so I wasn’t expecting good news.

We headed to the early pregnancy ward who sent us down for an ultrasound. That confirmed the worst. I had miscarried.

They went over my miscarriage plan with me and sent me home. I didn’t need any treatment which is a positive but I was no happy at all.

I am meant to do a pregnancy test in two weeks to confirm that the pregnancy has cleared from my body. Once it has and I’ve had a period, I am able to try again.

I am hoping that the doctors will put me on metformin which is a medication which can help people with PCOS get pregnant.

I am hopeful for the future but heartbroken at the same time.

20 Before 2020

can you believe that we are just over halfway through the year?! It’s mad!!

With things changing in my life recently, I figured that it’s time to create some new goals to achieve in the six months that we have left of the year.

  1. Write something (almost) every day. I love to write. Whether it’s a blog post, a personal essay or a short story, writing just makes me happy.
  2. Complete a 30 day fitness challenge. I start these challenges all the time but after about three days, I quit. Let’s hope I can accomplish one this year.
  3. Actually finish a book. In the last four months, I haven’t finished a single book. I love to read but it’s just because I can’t focus on a book and I get distracted.
  4. Walk 10,000 steps or more at least four days of the week. This is probably pretty easy for me as I do a lot of walking but I thought that I would make this a goal anyway.
  5. Be more focused. My attention span is absolutely rubbish. I get distracted by the smallest thing. Plus, I’m always walking into people because I’m busy scrolling though Twitter.
  6. Wear everything I own. I have a few items of clothing that I just don’ wear. If I don’t want something anymore then the least I can do is donate it.
  7. Move somewhere bigger and safer. Simon and I are currently trying to move house as where we live in tiny and it also has a lot of dangerous people around. Fingers crossed that we find somewhere soon.
  8. Get back into photography. I used to absolutely love taking photos. I need to get back into it and start heading outside with my camera more.
  9. Turn internet friends into real life friends. I don’t have any real life friends but I have plenty of online friends. I would love to meet some of them this year.
  10. Go on a road trip. With Simon hopefully learning to drive soon, this might actually be a possibility. I love the idea of getting in the car, blasting some tunes and having a drive somewhere.
  11. Get another tattoo. I love tattoos and I love having them done. The only thing that would stop me from achieving this goal is money.
  12. Buy Disneyland Paris Annual Passes. I’ve said I’m going to get them so many time but something changes and we either can’t afford them or we just don’t have the time to go.
  13. Learn the basics of Spanish or French. I have started learning both languages on and off but I need to just pick one and stick to it.
  14. Create an upload schedule for YouTube and stick to it. I doubt this one will happen as I currently go through phases with YouTube but I can try.
  15. Get to my goal weight. I have a new perxsonal trainer and he is super lovely so hopefully he will help me reach this goal but the end of the year.
  16. Learn to cook something new. I have a habit of eating the same things, over and over again. I don’t mind too much but it would be nice to cook something new.
  17. Stretch every day. Stretching makes me feel so good so I really need to do it more often. I would love to do it in both the morning and the evening.
  18. Start a gratitude journal. I love journaling and I have an extensive collection of notbooks so I might as well use some to bring a little positivity to my life.
  19. Listen to podcasts. I’ve listened to a couple of episodes of a podcast in my life but I didn’t pay too much attention. I want to get into them though.
  20. Save up some money. I love to shop but it’s time I get serious and start a savings fund. here’s a few things that will cost a lot in the future and I need some money behind me.

So, here’s all my goals for the rest of the year. What goals do you have?